Nikki's First Real Christmas

Nikki decided that Christmas was meaningless. And for three years she refused to celebrate it. It was just another day. She could not feel the excitement and joy of Christmas that caused her friends and coworkers to beam like the rising sun. All she felt was sadness and loneliness. She became frustrated seeing the crowds of people and long lines scrambling to finish their holiday shopping. As the holiday approached Nikki sank deeper and deeper into depression. She had no appetite for the smorgasbord of meals in the office. Everyone in the office knew she was annoyed by the Christmas spirit that buzzed throughout the office like a bumble bee. She expressed her nausea by all the laughter and cheerfulness. She felt no one understood her pain, nor did they consider her feelings. The pain was cutting deep into her soul as if she had been stabbed with a butcher’s knife. Although she had counseling session with the company’s Employee Assistance Program, there had been little progress. Nikki still grieved during the holiday season. She traveled to Los Angeles last year to visit relatives, but it was a horrible experience. She cried constantly during the three-day visit. Her uncle Troy and aunt Lessie tried to explain to Nikki that her mother was a Christian and was in heaven now and in a better place.
“How can you say that she’s in a better place than being with me?” she sobbed.

Nothing they said soothed the piercing pain in Nikki’s heart. Her mother’s death was an open wound that would not heal. Every time she saw a mother and daughter together she cried.

Nikki had no idea that this would be her first real Christmas. The chains that held her captive for five years after her mother’s death would be broken. Nikki’s grief centered on her feelings of guilt during her mother’s illness. She was unable to spend as much time with her during her chemo treatments and doctor visits. She barely made it in time to be with her before she passed away on December 26th at 12:15 a.m.

Nikki’s coworker, Samanthea invited her to Jesus’ Birthday Party at her small Pentecostal church on Christmas Day. They arrived just in time to hear the praise team sing a variety of Christmas carols. As the singers sang with fervor, “Oh come let us adore him” tears flowed unrestricted down Nikki’s face. After the singing the congregation roared with jovial expressions, “Glory Hallelujah!” “Praise the Lord!” The Spirit was high as the pastor stood staring up toward the huge crystal chandelier that hung from the ceiling.

“What is he staring at?” Nikki whispered to Samanthea.

“Shhh, he’s in the Spirit; probably receiving a right now word from the Lord for somebody.”
Nikki whispered with conviction, “Well, I sure hope he gets a word for me. I need help; I’m tired of feeling sad and lonely every Christ....”

Before she could complete the sentence, Pastor Ryan blurted, “Hear the Word of the Lord! Tonight is your night of freedom. You have been grieving out of guilt for too long. But you are free tonight and I want you to know everything is alright. Your mother is at rest; you did your best. Peace be unto you tonight.”

By that time, Nikki was slumped over the pew sobbing uncontrollably, and in between sobs saying, “Thank you, Lord Jesus. Forgive me for everything. Yes to your will, Lord.”
That was a birthday party that changed Nikki’s life forever. She experienced her first real Christmas, which brought restoration, joy, hope, and most of all meaning.

Perhaps your situation is different, but like Nikki you’ve decided that Christmas is just another day; that it means nothing to you. Maybe the holiday season is a painful reminder of the pain you have suffered by the loss of a loved one. If so, I understand the pain of separation. My mother transitioned from her earthly life to her heavenly home a few minutes after midnight —December 26, 2003. Yes it was a very sad Christmas that year as I sat alone in her hospice room all day on Christmas Day. Actually, it was heartbreaking the next Christmas too. But like Nikki and me you can find consolation in the Word of God by applying your faith to believe in the spirit of Christmas. *Read and meditate on the Christmas story—the fulfillment of a promise prophesied centuries before Jesus’ birth.* The spirit of Christmas is peace, hope, joy and love that come through Jesus Christ. But more importantly, will you choose to believe and receive the Gift of God. “For unto us Child is born; unto us a Son is given…” (Isaiah 9:6). By receiving the Gift of God in the Person of Jesus Christ Christmas will have meaning for you.

*Isaiah 9:7/Luke 1:32, 33; Micah 5:2/ Luke 2:4, 5, 7; Daniel 9:25/Luke 2:1,2; Isaiah 7:14/Luke 1:26, 27, 30, 31; Hosea 11:1/ Matthew 2:14, 15